reflection..ironman 2009 - what it was, what it is..what it will be

SO!!!!!!!

Ironman Canada 2009 was over and done with almost 4 dayz ago...4 dayz. hard to believe. it seems like another time another place. Oh wait a minute? it was. it was, it was what it was, it was a bunch of beautiful dayz, that culminated with a beautiful day, a hard day, a disappointing day, a hard to believe it was just one day, it was a hot day, it was one of the toughest dayz i've ever experienced, it was a day that beat me- this time - and it was a day i'll be back to repeat in about 360 dayz. but all in all, it was a beautiful day...with apologies to U2.

SO!!!!!!

What happened?...we'll i won't bore into the time leading up to the start of the race, other then to say every minute of every day was amazing...there were a few fawlty tower moments in our house on up the creek-side, but all in all, everything we did, steve, ted, suz, DD, pete and jan set everything up for an amazing race day. you know what? i could bitch about a couple of things (JAN QUIT SLAMMING THAT B-ROOM DOOR!)...but that would be so unlike me...the food was great (thanks u guys!), i slept well every nite...well except for the 2 nites before the race, but that was okay, it was nerves, or the wine, or something and...all the food and wine made up for everything...and all that put me in a great frame of mind, so much so that i was going into the race, on sunday morning, with absolutely no fear. what me worry?

SO!!!!

the swim, the 3800 meter swim was my biggest fear. swimming with 2500 of your closest friends is tuff enuff, but when they're all swimming towards the same place is even tuffer. i was worried about the bumps, the violence, the crush of humanity, so much so that i waited on the beach for most of the racers to take off before my face hit the water. but that seems so stupid now. as soon as i took a few strokes, i'd caught up, and then it was all about finding my spots to pass people, looking for open water, and just putting my head down and swimming.

the first 16oo or so meters to the 1st turn was very congested, but by the time i turned for home and started stroking, that final 1800 was amazing. i actually found open water and was suprised as to how calm i was. my heart rate must have been it's usual 65 to 70 bpm....also by heading out to open water i may have added a few extra meters to my swim, but i think it was worth it.....my time of about 1:21 wasn't amazing, but i was okay with it...and my 10 minute transition time was okay too. i'd heard that rushing through the swim to bike transition wasn't the best thing to do, it was better to make sure you had everything on properly, that the feet were dry and the socks were on, and that the sunscreen was liberaly applied...so i did all that, and once i was out on the bike, i felt pretty cool.

the bike was weird. i had a plan (honest), to keep my heart rate between 120 and 130 bpm, and to just to ride within myself, keep everything aerobic, and stay out of the anarobic zone. and i did that for the first part out to the bottom of richter's pass. i let people pass without giving the chase. even when ted sped by i stuck to the plan, steady the course mate!...just get it done.

well, except for the climb up to the creek road. and a few of the hills after that...i tried to hold back, but, well dammit, i just can't ride that slow going up hill.

i think that's where my downfall began (you think?) the whole point of staying aerobic was to prepare myself for richter's, those rollers, and the final climb up to yellow lake....but. well, as soon as i got to the bottom of richter's, well, even though i was in a granny gear, i just got tired of following people, and once you start passing, you have to pass, right?...and, i never had to stand up on the peddles to do so, which was strange, and weird too. i just kept spinning...i caught ted just about at the 1st summit, and then (oh my god!), jordan as well...that's when i should have realized that what i was doing was stupid...but, i'm a guy, and we're born with that stupid link in our DNA somewhere....so, even though i felt a bit sick, and i could feel my legs starting complain, i just kept it up.

the other deal with going up and down hills, is, well i found my nutrition plan to fall apart. actually it began right at the beginning of the day.

on saturday night, i'd spent the night filling up small containers with my endurolyte/electrolyte pills, and then screwed everything up. for some reason, even though i really needed the things on the bike, i'd put one container into my bike to run bag, and left one in my run special needs bag, and none with my bike, or on my bike. ...stupid, stupid, stupid....

i realized my mistake early on, and started scrambling, trying to decide on how i was going to make up for this nutritional mini-disaster.

the best thing i could come up with, was to eat and drink a little or a lot of everything else i had with me, and to drink like a fish at every aid station. so i stuffed myself with various flavors of gatorade, the 2 bottles i had on board, and whatever the aid stations had, plowed through my cut up power bar, and finished off a bottle of my perpetuem, thinking something in there should have something that would replace the electrolite stuff. but nothing seemed to be working. i was feeling a little woozy by the time i got to the out and back section of the race course, and to my bike special needs bag. what a waste that thing was. all i'd put into that special needs bag was a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and a bunch of fig newton bars...yeech!..i couldn't look at them even though, nor even eat any of it.....it just all seemed so dry, and nothing i needed. or maybe....?

the next mistake was getting off of the bike at the bottom of the climb up to yellow lake. i just felt like i needed a stretch, but as soon as i jumped (yep jumped) off of the cannondale, both my quads cramped rock hard. i could hardly stand. i acted like nothing was really wrong, and when jordie rolled by,and i think sheered me on, or challenged me, and i figured, you know what? i'd been up this hill before, i know, i know it's more about perception then reality, so why not...so up onto the bike, the legs seemed to release themselves, and up i went...and wow!..here i am, at the top of yellow lake, it's all down hill from here right?.....big deal, a few k after that, at a point that goes past a golf course, i did my norman stadler impersonation, and started blowing chunks. barfing all over my bike and my aerobottle. pretty much all the way until i reached the final aid station before the final decent, and by then i was a vomit comet.

and that by itself would have been okay...drink some water, cold cold water, and i should be okay, right?, well maybe not. on the way down, my heart rate monitor hit 300 bpm....300!?....i didn't know it could go that hi!....that's pretty much when i decided that this wasn't a day that i needed to, or could run 26.2 miles.

there were points on the way back into town, and through town when i thought, well maybe, but then i'd feel faint, see my heart bounding up yet again every time i tried to pick up the pace, and reality set in.

then, when i got to the transition area, when the volunteers couldn't find my bike to run bag, i guess someone else had grabbed it, i took that to be a sign from some higher power. i was done, and you know what, i felt fine with that, so maybe that was another sign. i knew there'd be another day, and while i sat down and drank some Gatorade and water, and saw ted head out on the run, and my cousin jillian head into the change tent, while the vounteers kept checking on me, and asking me over and over and over again if i was sure i wanted to drop out, i was fine.

i know, i've seen people who've dropped out of races really look disappointed, i've heard the stories, the tales of woe, but this seemed different. i sat on a curb, watched other racers head out on the run, and i felt okay. i walked back to our house on the hill, and reflected, and felt okay. had a shower, drank and drank and drank (water and coke you fools) and felt okay.

then going back 2 watch the finishers, watching friends finish, with other friends, was amazing. it was fun. wished i could have been out there still, but okay with not.

am i disappointed that i didn't become an ironman, yep. am i okay with how i ended the race, well, yes and no. i could have dropped out before coming back into town. there's were plenty of opportunities, there were ambulances all over the place picking up other people, i could have joined one of them, but i never even gave that a second thought. i was gonna finish that bike ride, even if it killed me. maybe if i'm really disappointed with anything, it's that i couldn't up my pace on the bike to the finish. i sort of gave up a bit too soon. a 7:08 bike is okay, but something closer to 6 hours would have been better. ...but then, well, i did give up a bit.....

but again, there's always next year, there's always another race, and yep, there's that NYC Marathon in November. also, i'm looking at the whole, the whole adventure, the training with friends, the fun i had swimming, open water swims, the rides, the places i've seen on those rides, the runs through the river valley, and all those i've crossed paths with on the way to this point. indeed it was all about the journey, not the destination. this isn't about a life, it's not a bucket list sort of thing, it's just about fun. i swim, i bike, and i run, because i enjoy it. that's it. for me, that's all it's all ever been about. anyone that knows me, knows that about me. if ain't fun, i won't be bothered. and that's what this ironman thing felt like, fun. it was a lot like my time racing death race up in grande cache every august long weekend. as soon as i drove into penticton, it was a lot like driving inton GC, it felt like it was some place i was meant to be, it felt like home. i felt that way during the swim as well. it just felt right. and for most of the bike i felt that way too. and during our training rides, swims and runs in penticton, it just felt, well, this is what life's all about. it all felt right.

so now what? well, the NYC Marathon of course, and then, well, i guess it's back to the drawing board, it's back to mordor, it's back to begin yet another journey.

but at least now, i know now,where i'll be going.

w